Who is Carole King? -Lt.

Overheard in my dog’s head

"Hmm, this looks like a brand new white rug, straight out of the shipping package. I bet my mom spent a lot of time researching it and designing a room around it."

"I should probably pee on it." 



Overheard in my marriage

Her: What airline are we flying from Paris to Geneva?

Him: Haven’t you heard of it? Crashy Mc Crashy Crash airlines. 

He always knows just how to comfort me. 


Six subscriptions. One man. My man.

And yes, that is the latest catalog from Cheaper Than Dirt, America’s ultimate gun and shooting sports discounter.

Six subscriptions. One man. My man.

And yes, that is the latest catalog from Cheaper Than Dirt, America’s ultimate gun and shooting sports discounter.


Whatever, Bets

"You look like Betty Draper," the Lieutenant said, commenting on my new short, blonde bob haircut late last night.

At least, that’s what I think he said. He might have said I “act” like Betty Draper, in which case it would not be a compliment.  I’m going to assume he said “look.” 


Notes from the Ebay underworld

The Lietuenant and I belong to Amazon Prime, which delivers many items with free two-day shipping; I am also a devoted follower of the cult of ebay —I’ve been using the auction site since 2003 and have bought everything from a dog costume to my wedding dress there.

But buying everything online has a downside. I often play “shake that box” to try and remember exactly what it was that I ordered. 

The Lieutenant described a delivery today: “An overstuffed box from India, Any idea what it is”?

Nope.


"I totally understand you now. Three years of marriage and I totally understand the person I’m married to after watching Jim Gaffigan."  

(H/T: www.meateatingmilitaryman.com/ )


An epic battle

Our five month old (house trained, woop!) puppy has declared

WAR. ON. PLASTIC. BOTTLES.

(The ferocious warrior poses for a glamour shot)

She has never met a plastic water bottle that she likes. The little fluff ball is currently launching a full scale attack on a plastic bottle of seltzer on the coffee table. Her skills of adaptation during battle are impressive. Must. Kill. Bottle. 

Have others observed this phenomenon? Perhaps she’s an environmentalist? Yes, our six pound Havanese is very socially conscious.